The Value of Human Life

Add 14 inches of snow, a level one snow emergency, and the upper management team of a major retailer and what do you get?

A demand that employees and managers come to work.

The statement was made that "we don't want to dissappoint even one customer."

OK, so if the store wasn't open, the customers wouldn't be coming out. So, they wouldn't be dissappointed and they would be home safe.

Secondly, what about the parent whose child is killed in an accident on the way to work? What did we do to protect them? How do we value their "dissappointment"?

The Struggle for Normalcy

This morning a group of soldiers and civilian contractors completed the first marathon ever run on Afghan soil.

This group of men and women included members of the U.S. Army's 2nd Battalion, 5th Infantry Regiment, based at Schofield Barracks in Hawaii. They chose today for the marathon because today is the annual Honolulu Marathon. The unit usually participates in the Hawaii event and didn't want to miss out. The marathon was coordinated with the Hawaii run and runners will get the same medals, awards, t-shirts, and event listings that the homeland runners receive.

The determination of this group of men and women brings home just how far the human race will go to remain close to those things that are important.

My thanks and thoughts go out to the runners and the others serving.

Path of the Hermit

Oceanographers and the US Navy are tracking a solo whale throughout the Pacific Ocean. Somehow, for some unknown reason, this particular whale has decided to pursue a life of solitude.

This whale has been circling the Pacific Ocean for the past twelve years. He swims out of synch with the regular migration routes followed by most of the other known whale species. His songs are heard in areas that are unpopulated by other whales at the times that he is there.

Oceanographers state that his song is that of a baleen whale, but they do not match those of any known species. The voice has deepened due to age, but it is still the same whale after twelve years.

Now the interesting questions begin.

Did this whale choose a life of solitude? I can picture this mystic monk whale, traveling around the globe, seeking an answer to the meaning of life. His song is different because he sees the destruction of the oceans, and he is deeply saddened. Can whales sing the blues? Maybe this is kind of a whale chant.

Maybe the whale was driven out by his peers. Do whales suffer from BO? Or could he have committed some strange kind of whale crime so heinous that he must suffer alone for the rest of his life.

Probably the saddest scenario is that he is the last of his breed. It is feasible that a breed of whale has been unidentified and that they have all died out except this one. Now he travels the globe, seeking the mate that he will never find.

I like the monk whale idea. Somewhere out there is a solitary monk, seeking enlightenment, preaching tolerance through his song. That's my story and I'm sticking with it.

Particularly among male homosexuals, the promiscuity is just phenomenal.

Opponents of gay marriage said the divorces, occurring so soon after the weddings, confirm that gay couples are not equipped for marriage.

"We're not surprised," said Kris Mineau, president of the Massachusetts Family Institute, which is fighting for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. "Particularly among male homosexuals, the promiscuity is just phenomenal."

Did you ever want to look at someone and ask them "What did your momma smoke before you were born?"

So, not surprisingly, there have been gay couples in Massachusetts that have filed for divorce. Yeah, I know. How dare they. How dare anyone admit that they made a mistake. The spouse that they thought they knew turned out to be someone unexpected. The pressure of living in a close relationship was too much. The constant scrutiny of friends, family, and the rest of the nation was just beyond control.

I guess that the ultra-conservatives are right. If a few gay couples are admitting that they are incompatible we should outlaw gay marriage. Now I have to figure out how to tell my wife and kids that 50% of the straight, married population can't be wrong. Apparently my marriage (and those of my parents, grandparents, etc.) are meaningless because straight people have been getting divorced. Wow, she's not going to be happy. So will our marriage just be cancelled, or will it be dissolved from this point forward? Hmmm. I guess that the Supreme Court will take up that part of it after Congress bans all marriage. You know, someone should have seen a long time ago that marriage leads to divorce. I think this whole marriage thing is a conspiracy between the priests, lawyers, and county clerks. Oh yeah, don't forget the jewelry store owners, invitation printers, caterers, dress makers, and tux rental stores. Everybody seems to be getting a piece of the action. Maybe all those people are really homosexuals and this has been a conspiracy (several thousand years in the making) against straight people. Make lots of money off of the wedding, which really shouldn't count because they will probably divorce.

I think I figured it out. I'm going to call Martin Scorsese. I think we've got the making of a conspiracy movie here. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Have you seen the First Amendment?

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Free speech. Does it exist? Where can it be found?

Free speech. Who does it apply to? What is free?

How do we as parents protect our children from the sewage that others put forth as free speech?

Why can't I, as a consenting adult, watch whatever I want on television?

Why does the government feel that I can not sufficiently guide my children to adulthood?

I discovered approximately seventeen years ago that there are three tools that I had in my household that allowed me to watch the shows that I wanted to, and still protect my young children. Three tools that are in every house.

1) Discussion. The simple act of talking to my children and letting them know why something is inappropriate.

2) The on/off switch. Wow, what a concept. If you don't like what is on, turn it off. Pretty simple really. Maybe you could, oh I don't know, read a book? Play a game?

3) The channel changer. If you really must watch, change the channel. I would be willing to bet that there is something on that you don't find offensive. Try it.

Somehow the government (FCC, White House, etc.) has decided that Americans are really crappy parents. We must be fed a mindless pablum of mushed nothing. We do not have the mental capacity to decide for ourselves what is or is not appropriate for our families. Again, many other countries allow the marketplace to determine what is shown. If people don't watch, the show is replaced. Wow, in a market economy, what a concept.

Survival Of The Fittest

I have long felt that the human race is due for extinction. I know that many would disagree with me, and I'm sure that they have good reasons. History (I mean really long term history here) shows that a species must adapt and improve itself or it will be overrun by another species. Look at the mastodon, sabertooth tiger, and dodo bird. All did not adapt to changes, all became extinct. We, the human race, are in danger of becoming extinct.

Humans have adapted for thousands and thousands of years. We moved from the grasslands, to the jungles, to caves. Each move made life safer and easier. Our brains grew and we developed speech. In most cases this was a good thing. We learned to use tools and became farmers as opposed to hunters. Food was more consistent and plentiful, and very rarely did you hear about a farmer beaten to death by an angry stalk of corn.

As we progressed, our tool use improved. We developed various tools for farming, hunting, and travel. Writing, music, painting, and drama all became part of our lives. Recently (geologically) we went through the Industrial Revolution. Now we are in the Information Age. Our brain pans should be growing so fast that we all should have permanent headaches from the pressure.

So what is wrong? Why are we devolving?

When I was growing up children learned a very important evolutionary essential:

We are each responsible for our own actions.

We each knew someone who had fallen off the monkey bars and cracked his head open. There was also the person who tried to catch the lawn jart at the end of its flight. Then don't forget the sixteen year old who tried to beat the train. Or the drunk who tried to drive home. If you survived these things you could plan on getting the tar beaten out of you when your parents caught you. Obviously you either learned your lesson or you were never able to do anything physically again. In the first instance you were being groomed to be a stronger person and a better parent. In the second instance you were probably unable to reproduce. Either way the human race became stronger.

Today we are in the process of dumbing down the gene pool. There is a young lady that was walking along an active railroad track. When the Union Pacific came rumbling by it clipped her and damaged her thumb (don't ask, I can't even imagine). Now, instead of being totally embarrassed and blaming herself, she hired a lawyer and is suing the railroad. Apparently they were negligent because there weren't signs posted that warned her that it is dangerous to walk near active tracks. The really sad part of this is that she is alive and able to reproduce.

I would love to see a class action lawsuit against the American Bar Association for driving the human race towards extinction. I know it wouldn't get anywhere, there's not a lawyer around that would take the case, but give me the right jury and we'd all be rich.

So, in closing, I'd like to wish a fond farewell to all my fellow homo sapiens. We lived a long life, and we fought the good fight. I'm not sure when it's coming, but sometime very soon we will be replaced.

" I like it "

Here is the text of a conversation that I had with a customer today:

Keith - Hi there, what can I help you find today?

Customer - I want this thing that I saw at H.H. Gregg.

K - Something that they sell?

C - No. They had it on a stove and said that they bought it from you.

K - OK. What is the item?

C - It levels between the burners.

K - Levels what between the burners?

C - The stove.

K - It levels the stove between the burners?

C - Yep.

K - Why?

C - Huh?

K - Why are you leveling the stove between the burners?

C - I don't know.

(pause for mandatory head scratch)

K - So what does it do?

C - It makes the stove level between the burners.

K - Is this something that you cook on?

C - No. (shakes her head like I'm stupid)

K - So why do you want the stove to be level between the burners?

C - I don't know.

K - Then why are you looking for this?

C - Because I like it.

(I really should have walked away by now)

K - Is this a trivet (hot pad)?

C - A what?

(Show the customer trivets)

C - No, it's not really anything like that.

K - It sounds like a double burner griddle.

(show the customer a double burner griddle)

C - But that's to cook on.

K - Yes.

C - No. You don't cook on what I want.

K - I'll be honest. I really don't have any idea what you're looking for, but let's try one more time. What is it made of?

C - I don't know. Metal maybe.

K - And all it does is level the store in between the burners?

C - That's right.

K - And the reason for leveling the stove top between the burners is..........?

C - I don't know.

K - And you want this why?

C - I like it.

K - I'm stumped. I really have no idea what you are looking for.

C - Well, you need to go over to H.H. Gregg and they'll show you what I want and they'll tell you that they bought it here.

(C - turns and walks away)


Why is it that I came out of that conversation feeling like the stupid one?

Death by Committee

I never cease to be amazed at how open minded many Europeans are.

The Netherlands was the first country in the world to legalize euthanasia. There are legal standards that have been issued that must be followed by doctors that allow an individual with a terminal illness to request the procedure. The requirements are stringent and require the agreement of two physicians.

A new twist has developed recently, and with it a new insight into the European mentality.

The provision, as written, does not allow relief for those who are unable to make their own decisions (comatose patients, babies, etc.). Doctors acknowledge that these individuals would benefit the same as those who can make a decision. For babies these would include infants with extreme spina bifada and other similar conditions that are so extreme that the child would be in excruciating pain for ever, and would have no quality of life at all.

In America, if a parent would wish to remove a feeding tube from a child, the courts would probably take custody of the child and prosecute the parents. In the Netherlands doctors are assisting such patients in every way that they can. The board that oversees euthanasia freely admits that several of such patients are have their lives ended each year. Instead of hiding this currently illegal procedure, the doctors and hospitals make sure that the nation knows what they are doing. In bringing this activity into the spotlight they hope to standardize the code and help those who are suffering the most.

As a person, I hope that I am never in such debilitating condition. If I am, I hope that someone helps me move on. As a father, I would hate to make such a decision for my child, but I would hate even more to see them suffer without relief.

Once again I marvel that the residents of another country can see how important the quality of human life is. Quality, not quantity.

Church vs. State?

I had to check the compass tonight. I would have sworn that north was south and Christmas came in July.

The federal government (ok, maybe the President, but same thing) is saying that marriage is between a man and a woman. He also implies (giving him the benefit of the doubt) that same-sex couples are living a life of sin, and are a danger to life, liberty, and the American way. You read his statements feeling that all good Christians should immediately kiss their wives (this is mans work) and run out to stone the nearest gay couple. It's ok, God would approve.

So now, here's the first kicker. The United Church of Christ has produced a tv commercial that shows two bouncers blocking a gay couple from entering a church. A caption appears that reads "Jesus didn't turn people away, neither do we." Pretty cool for a church. There are images of at least one gay couple and one lesbian couple in the ad. For the record, they also are targeting other minorities, saying that all are welcome.

OK, get this.......

CBS and NBC have refused to air the ad. "Because this commercial touches on the exclusion of gay couples...and the fact that the executive branch has recently proposed a Constitutional amendment to define marriage as a union between a man and a woman, this spot is unacceptable for broadcast," the church quoted CBS as saying. Wow. Censorship by the executive branch. Since when did this become acceptable? So, that was CBS. Where does NBC fit into this? "It went against our long-standing policy of not accepting ads that deal with issues public controversy," said the NBC spokeswoman.

Now, maybe I wasn't paying attention, but didn't we just come out of one of the dirtiest political campaigns in memory? And, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't all three networks air ads by both parties and those slimy soft money committees? I also remember a number of those ads that attacked politicians who voted against the Defense of Straight People Act. (Oh yeah, sorry, the Defense of Marriage Act).

Kudos to the United Church of Christ, Fox, ABC Family, TBS, TNT, BET Discovery, and Hallmark, along with others that are standing up and saying people are people.