Particularly among male homosexuals, the promiscuity is just phenomenal.

Opponents of gay marriage said the divorces, occurring so soon after the weddings, confirm that gay couples are not equipped for marriage.

"We're not surprised," said Kris Mineau, president of the Massachusetts Family Institute, which is fighting for a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. "Particularly among male homosexuals, the promiscuity is just phenomenal."

Did you ever want to look at someone and ask them "What did your momma smoke before you were born?"

So, not surprisingly, there have been gay couples in Massachusetts that have filed for divorce. Yeah, I know. How dare they. How dare anyone admit that they made a mistake. The spouse that they thought they knew turned out to be someone unexpected. The pressure of living in a close relationship was too much. The constant scrutiny of friends, family, and the rest of the nation was just beyond control.

I guess that the ultra-conservatives are right. If a few gay couples are admitting that they are incompatible we should outlaw gay marriage. Now I have to figure out how to tell my wife and kids that 50% of the straight, married population can't be wrong. Apparently my marriage (and those of my parents, grandparents, etc.) are meaningless because straight people have been getting divorced. Wow, she's not going to be happy. So will our marriage just be cancelled, or will it be dissolved from this point forward? Hmmm. I guess that the Supreme Court will take up that part of it after Congress bans all marriage. You know, someone should have seen a long time ago that marriage leads to divorce. I think this whole marriage thing is a conspiracy between the priests, lawyers, and county clerks. Oh yeah, don't forget the jewelry store owners, invitation printers, caterers, dress makers, and tux rental stores. Everybody seems to be getting a piece of the action. Maybe all those people are really homosexuals and this has been a conspiracy (several thousand years in the making) against straight people. Make lots of money off of the wedding, which really shouldn't count because they will probably divorce.

I think I figured it out. I'm going to call Martin Scorsese. I think we've got the making of a conspiracy movie here. I'll let you know how it turns out.