"All right boxers, let's have a clean fight"

Political campaigns, by there very nature, provide fodder for news stories, bloggers, and water cooler conversations. This year most of us are very well fed. The battle to take control of the Senate has led to stories dealing with adultery, same sex adultery, phone sex, same sex phone sex, racial fear tactics, and finally an outright physical assault.

Tuesday night a student was attending a rally for Senator George Allen. Apparently the student publishes a "left of center" blog and wrote that he planned on heckling Allen to get a response. It worked.

Mike Stark proceeded with his plan at the rally in Charlottesville. While the heckling took place several Allen supporters physically attacked Stark. He was placed in a choke hold and slammed to the ground.

Allen's opponent, Jim Webb, claims to have never met Stark. He states that he is "disappointed" by the actions of people that night. Good answer.

There's also a small amount of a "hmmmm" factor when you look at the candidate's plans for Wednesday night.

Webb was spending Wednesday with Senator Obama of Illinois. The evening was to be spent with General Wesley Clark and Michael J. Fox. Impressive panel of friends.

Allen? Hanging out with a group from Phillip Morris, Inc.

Enough said.

Travelocity Look Out

The Front for the Liberation of Garden Gnomes has reared its ugly head again.

Seventy nine gnomes, recently liberated from their garden dwelling lives of drudgery, were discovered along the banks of a creek in France. They were hidden in the brush with a banner reading "gnome mistreated, gnome liberated".

The Front is a multi-national group, claiming in excess of 100 members.

One hundred and fifty years ago slave owners could and did break up families, selling members to different farms and plantations. Today the FLGG is doing the same thing to gnomes. Stealing away peace loving gnomes from those that are closest to them. Even though they claim that they are operating in the best interest of gnome society, no consideration is given to the wants of the individual gnomes.

FLGG, cease your heinous crimes. Respect the family. Don't steal gnomes. Work for an improvement in their environments if you must, but do not break up these poor families.

Falwellians Elect Lucifer

In the worlds of religion and politics few individuals invite ridicule to the extent of Jerry Falwell. In a recent comment, Falwell stated that if Hillary Clinton ran for President in 2008, more members of his congregation would vote against her than would vote against Lucifer.

Wow.

Falwell later told reporters that he did not mean to demonize the former First Lady. Duh, it went well beyond that. Lucifer is supposedly the King of the Demons, and Hillary is worse than that. Demonizing would be a step or two up!

You've really gotta love this guy. He has attacked every race, religion, and creed out there. He has "sinned" according to his nationwide broadcast. And yet, he continues to stir up trouble. He preaches that there is only one god and one belief. "He that cometh to the father through Falwell shall be saved."

Personally, 2008 should be Clinton vs Falwell. May the biggest demon win.

Once again in Florida

So, just when I thought I had the death dealing laws in Florida figured out, Jeb signed a new law designed to confuse people like me. So far.....

1) If you are legally dead and have been for 14+ years you still aren't allowed to die.

2) If your car is legally dead you aren't allowed to kill it.

Now, if you feel threatened and you are armed you may shoot to kill without attempting to run away first.

Most states allow you to defend yourself if you are in fear for your life. The qualifier is that you must attempt to flee first. Only if you can not flee or escape your attacker may you shoot. Makes sense to me. Kinda of short circuits the crazys that want to shoot without checking out exactly what's going on.

The new Florida law says that you may use deadly force to defend yourself if you feel threatened for your life. No qualifiers.

I can think of several bullies in school that would be dead by now. Of course that would violate the zero tolerance law, but I'm not sure if Florida has one.

So if I feel threatened by my 94 LeBarron, can I shoot to kill?

Been there, Wish I had done that

A 64 year old Florida resident is currently in trouble with the law for putting his 1994 LeBaron out of its misery. "John" shot his car five times with a semi-automatic pistol. When asked by his landlord what he was doing, he replied, "I'm putting it out of its misery". Apparently the car had been giving him trouble and he felt that it was time for it to go.

John was charged by the local sheriff and spent the night in jail. He said that it was worth it.

Now, we knew that in Florida it was difficult to let a loved one die. If you try you'll have to talk to Congress, the Supreme Court, and you'll have a yard full of the Bushes trying to run your life. I guess that it's the same way for your old car. Better keep it running or the governor will get you.

English in West Virginia?

In this age of Political Correctness it is nice to see politicians stand up for something that they think is right, even if it might alienate certain people.

The United States has long been known as the melting pot of the world. People from all nations came to America and became part of our society and our heritage. One of the things that made this melting pot possible was the fact that immigrants wanted to be a part of the nation, so they tried to blend in. One of the first things to go was language. New residents tried to master the English language so they could be a part of society.

Now I'm not saying that it is wrong to keep the memory and the traditions of the old country alive. Diversity in all of its forms is one of the greatest things about our country. I do feel that if you are going to live somewhere you should speak the language. Keep your parents language alive, but speak as spoken to.

Many states have dealt with the issue of making English the official state language. Many states have bowed to pressure from immigrant groups who feel that this stand would alienate their people, and make them feel less a part of society. Wait a minute, if you want to be a part of society wouldn't you try to fit in? Hmmmm.

So now the State Legislator of West Virginia took a bold step recently. They passed legislation making English the official state language. Good for them!






Three days after passing the legislation the representatives received a surprise. Apparently they didn't know that they had voted on this bill. The resolution making English as the official state language wasn't recognized for what it was!!!

There must be an encyclopedia of jokes here. How can a law like this have passed? What language was it written in? English? I guess it should have been written in "Hill Talk".

Competitive Hula

I have always enjoyed the simple fact that different things are important to different people. That's one of the things that makes the world such a wonderful place.

Native Hawaiians participate in hula competitions that contain the best of sports, dance, storytelling and music. This is extreme competition at its highest level. Contestants of all ages participate, both male and female.

The finals take place on a bare stage, lit with the simplest of lights. The music plays, the dancers sway, and frequently the dancers chant or sing while dancing. This year the competition was interrupted frequently. On Friday, right after Halau Mohala 'Ilima's hula kahiko, a group of Maori men rose in one section of the bleachers to give a rousing war haka in appreciation of their sisters-in-spirit and festival hosts, halting their exit through the stadium. The young women of Mapuana de Silva chanted, in return, their aloha and thanks to the Maori, then continued on their way out.

How cool is that!?!?!

So what does all of this have to do with the war, politics, religion, or any of the other issues in the world. Not a thing.

And that makes it more important than anything.